


Unacceptable Losses

by writteninweakness



Category: Collar x Malice (Visual Novel)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Light Angst, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-13
Updated: 2019-11-13
Packaged: 2021-01-30 06:23:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21423637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writteninweakness/pseuds/writteninweakness
Summary: She struggles with knowing she could have lost him. He shares that fear about her.
Relationships: Hoshino Ichika/Yanagi Aiji
Comments: 2
Kudos: 29





	Unacceptable Losses

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still learning characterization, but I was reviewing the ending, and there was no real acknowledgement of Yanagi getting shot (yes, I know it was a graze, he was still shot) and I ended up thinking about that and had happened to see a prompt that loosely tied to the idea (if only in my insane brain.) 
> 
> So I tried this, and I kind of liked it, so I decided to try posting it.

* * *

“You took a bullet for me.”

Her hand was on the welt left by the shot that grazed him—Yanagi was lucky, the head of Adonis wasn’t nearly as good a marksman as she was—but her eyes were on him. He could see it now. Her strength all through that ordeal, her power to end it without taking any lives, that had run out in the face of quiet reality.

Her fear, invisible when she took aim, was plain on her face, and her eyes were damp with unshed tears.

He shook his head. “He was aiming for me. Don’t think he wasn’t. I was the one that wasn’t prepared.”

He hadn’t drawn his weapon fast enough. He got shot. That was all on him. Not her.

“You could have died. For me.”

“I told you. He was aiming for me.”

She shook her head. “He shot you so I’d get angry enough to kill him. That would have been what he wanted. And… I think… I would have. I would have killed him if he’d killed you. If he’d hit you a second time, I… I think I would have fired in anger. I wouldn’t have aimed to disarm him. I’d have wanted to _kill _him.”

Yanagi pulled her close to him. He understood that better than she knew. If that bastard had fired at her first, Yanagi might have gone too far again. He might have broken every promise he made to himself to atone for his past and killed that man. Without her, none of this felt right. He’d been a coward hiding for so long, unable to face his past or move forward, he’d resigned from being a cop because he couldn’t reconcile his orders with what he’d learned the hard way. He couldn’t hold to his ideals, so he hid from everything all the while claiming he was doing the right thing—the only thing—to stop this terrorism.

Then he’d found her. His nightmares returned to life in a mockery of their shared past. He’d needed her for the case, intended to use her but keep her at a distance. What a fool he’d been. He couldn’t keep to that, and she’d ended up saving _him, _forcing him to confront what he’d been avoiding. He found the way to overcome that same issue he’d become so mixed up over, and even if he still wouldn’t go back to being a cop, she had given him a way to be as close to at peace with himself as he would ever be.

He couldn’t lose her. She was too important to him.

He’d take a thousand bullets for her.

He knew she’d do the same for him, and that scared him.

“Maybe you would have,” he said, reaching up to comb his fingers through her hair, tangling them in the longer sections that went down past her waist. “But I think you’d have the strength to overcome it in time. Even if you ran for a while, like I did, you’d come back again. You’re strong. Almost fearless.”

“I was terrified.”

He nodded. “Yes. And you had every reason to be. Your life was in constant danger, anything you said or did could mean it was over in an instant. You didn’t know who did that to you or why. And then you found yourself face-to-face with a monster from your nightmares.”

She shook her head. “I just needed to remember that you saved me. I was scared and confused back then, so my memories weren’t clear, but as much as that part when I woke up frightened me, it should never have overshadowed the relief I felt when you first came to help me. You didn’t have to. I was a stranger to you, but you came for me. I’m free because of you. Safe because of you. Then and now. I needed your help to see me through this. If not for you, I couldn’t have faced knowing who he really was. I saw him as a friend. I didn’t want to believe it. You helped me accept it and confront him. And then I almost lost you.”

“It was a graze.”

“If Okazaki wasn’t injured, I’d make him guard you forever.”

Yanagi grimaced. “No. Hell, no.”

She laughed then, and he had to smile in return. “Can I? I know you already said I could stay by your side, but I want to ask again. I want to be here. I want to watch over you like you watch over me.”

“You already know the answer to that,” he said, making a point to touch the ring he’d put on her finger. _“Fait accompli, _remember?”

“Yes, but—”

“I’ll say it again. I want to live with you. Forever. Now and forever. No matter what happens, I’ll never let you go,” he repeated his words from when he gave her the ring. “I told you I’d be clingy now that I let myself get attached.”

“I am willing to be as tied down as you want.”

He couldn’t resist teasing her. “Dangerous words when we’re alone in bed together.”

She went red with his words, reminding him just how much of an innocent she was despite what she’d been through. Still, ever that strong woman that she was, she steadied her gaze and smiled at him. “I know you won’t hurt me.”

He smiled back, barely keeping himself from saying too much. He felt sure this woman would be the death of him, but as she said, _fait accompli. _It was already done. He loved her, and he wouldn't have it any other way.


End file.
